From Michelle this morning ...

Dear family, friends and colleagues,

By the time most of you read this message I will be at holy cross hospital
awaiting surgery.

Let me take you back a bit. In the middle of july I felt a lump in my left
breast but after doing some research and looking at all information I
figured it was a cyst. I went for my gyno appt 1 month later and there to
they thought it was a cyst but as I am 40 recommended thati go for a
mammogram and ultrasound to rule anything out. On September 14th I went for
my mammo and again the was told cysts but when I went to the radiologist she
said it looked out of sorts, it was at this time I began to get that sick
feeling. On September 18th I went in for a biopsy which for those of you
that know me I am TERRIFIED of needles so it was quite an experience. Once
in the chair I must tell you it wasn’t as bad as I thought – I didn’t even
pass out! After an hour or so they biopsied 3 different spots and in my
heart of hearts I knew something was amiss as why do three spots when I was
only concerned with one.

Well now we move ahead to September 20th and this is a day I will never
forget, I called the doctor for my results and what she told me absolutely
took every breath out of my body…..”michelle you have invasive ductal
carcinoma” in other words I had breast cancer. I instant messaged my sister
barby (who I work with) and told her it was not good we then went into an
office and cried. Jay also came in and suggested I speak to another
colleague Nelly as she might be able to offer us some insight. He was
totally on the money, she was a huge help and was able to give us all sorts
of information. Barby and I left the office almost immediately and went to
go get my mammos and ultrasound films from the hospital – which by the way
the radiologist and the doctor were there and were very helpful in telling
me what was what.

Barby has been my eyes and ears and she is definately on top of the program.
She is really doing all the ground work for me so I shouldn’t have STRESS
– tell that to my head! Anyway we proceeded to make an appt with a breast
surgeon (thanks Nelly) and we went to see him on that Friday. For anyone
who is one the modest side , I must tell yu that there is no DIGNITY when
you are ill, for heavens sake he was feeling my boobs with my hubby sitting
right there, but in the grand scheme of things it is what it is and now I
have to get on with it.

After leaving the surgeons office I must say that on that night i was
finally able to get a good nights sleep and that in itself is a wonderful
thing.

My surgery is scheduled for the 16th of October and I am told that I get to
go home the following day but will have a drain in me for a week or so. So
for my Colleagues I probably wont see you for a little while but I will be
back!! Don’t get too used to the quiet. For my friends and family just
think of me and think of well wishes. I will probably need chemotherapy
which means my hair could and will fall out but I have always wondered what
I would look like as a blond hmmm or maybe even a redhead.

The only thing I ask of any of you is please do not feel PITY for me as
someone once said “that which does not kill us only makes us stronger” and
this is the motto I am taking under my wing.

If you want to read about me, Barby has set up a blog site which I will be
updating on a regular basis and of course I would love to hear from you as
well. http://michys-updates.blogspot.com/

But before I sign off I want to say:

Jeff – you are my rock and have been wonderful and when this is allover I
promise I will do some housework!

Justin and Jordana – You are my heart and just know that mommy loves you
very much and Justin we will celebrate your birthday the proper way after
this is all over, even if it falls in a different month

Barby – you are my other rock, I am very lucky to have a sister like you and
wouldn’t trade you for anything and like I said to jeff, when this is
allover we will definitely have to go and do something crazy – just the
girls!

To my parents - thanks for all you will be doing in the months ahead - if i
forget to say thanks to you just know that i am thinking about it and it
means alot to me.

Susie - Thanks for being you and please remember to bring me the parklander
magazine!

To everyone else just thanks for being who you are and I will see you or
speak to you real soon.

Love,
Mich